The Perfect Storm
By admin / April 9, 2015 / 0 Comment
Obedience and surrender without actually agreeing with God about our circumstances is nothing more than a two-year-old temper tantrum.
A year ago I sat in my bedroom, sad, angry, desperately seeking the answers to WHY am I still in this place, this job, this situation. I’m a highly energetic person and I was having difficulty even getting out of bed. A dear friend came to me and shared her concern that I was becoming depressed; I was not myself.
I did all the “right things’: went to the doctor, listened to friends, read the Bible, prayed, plodded through my daily life of responsibilities. I kept hearing this whisper, “Sit with me”. Okay, so I did that too. I sat with God every day, in a very comfy chair. I was thankful that winter was somewhat brutal and cold, because it gave me an excuse to wear sweats and sit for hours just reading and disengaging from the world. It took effort to cook and function, but I did it.
Sit. With. Me. (please…)
I continued to hear this whisper, “Sit with me”. I kept sitting, thinking all along I was being just SO obedient to God. I was surrendering myself to sitting and listening and being with God. Instead of medication, my doctor recommended a prayer partner, someone that could meet with me and just be there as an ear or a person to walk through this with regularly. So I “prayed” about who that would be. Several names came to me and I dismissed them all, until God placed the exact right, unexpected person in this place.
We met regularly, reading the Bible, talking, well, me more talking than her and just wading through all the stuff. I had two struggles, job and singleness. I was flat out angry about not getting what I wanted, when I wanted it. After all, I heard from God three years prior that it was time to move on and start the search process. I just didn’t understand.
One Saturday morning, I made a very bold, exasperated statement at coffee: “Well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?! My prayer partner had an answer; and what I would come to recognize later was this was the lesson-changing moment. I said YES to a Book Study, Divine Woman 101, with ladies from her church.
It was many weeks later, the lesson hit me between my very selfish eyes and my “snarky” attitude: Cheryl, AGREE WITH GOD about where He has you, about WHY you are there and if you don’t do it anyway; trust him for real!! Sure, surrender and obedience are step one and two. But without AGREEMENT, this is just a teenager saying to their parent, Fine, whatever, but I don’t really want to. My heart was so hardened and focused on what I thought he was telling me and where he was leading me, I kind of forgot to look up and see if I was still following him.
That moment was such a strong moment for me, I will never forget. My prayer partner told me she actually saw transformation in me, physically, in my facial expressions, in my restlessness.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
It was only then, I began to TRULY obey God; it was like I was released from this bondage; from this place of ick, prickliness, from this straight jacket. I invited women to my home for the book study that I had done in the summer. The timing was absolutely NOT mine, but I said yes anyway. I said yes when I knew it was God.
Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.
HE DID. I got a call in September about the job from the previous year, which set the wheels in motion for what God had been doing all along. You see He heard me; He knew; He was working for three years on the perfect fit, not just for my job, but for my witness to him, for my glory to Him. He was just waiting on ME to see it, to agree, to focus on HIM again.
Obedience has become my new favorite thing because I feel free from angst. I feel right, I feel more gentle and alive inside. I feel more connected, in fact, the desire to be with God at times overwhelms me. I’m doing things that I do not feel confident about, but each time I’ve said yes with true agreement in His plan, he has NEVER let me down. Shocking news?? Not really, He’s been this way for our whole lives; it just takes some of us a bit longer to get the lesson.
So what now? I remain obedient, even when it’s not easy or comfortable or the timing is not ideal. I KNOW that God’s got my back, because I feel him, I sense Him, and I see the glory through the people He places in my path.
Lesson Learned: Surrender, obey, BUT agree first and always. It was an continues to be the perfect storm that changed me to the core!
Where has that perfect storm revealed itself to you?