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Senior Year = Tears??

By admin / August 9, 2015 / 0 Comment

What the heck, why do these tears continue to trickle down my face at a steady pace, in random moments. He’s a senior, big deal, it’s just another year. I do not want to be one of those people who mourns when it’s really a great time in life! We want them to grow up, right?  We do not want them to stay with us forever. The whole point of motherhood is to make adult people. So when they are independent and doing all the things we taught them, then what is it that makes a mother’s heart get overwhelmed?

I have read all of those quick articles about dropping your kid at college and all the lessons that go with it. All of which resonate and are good, because it reminds me that I’m not the only one having these moments that I think are all due to hormones. (For the record, hormones are not the reason).

Then what is it that makes the “first last day” as many have stated, so emotional or melancholy or reflective for me? Tonight I heard a long-time elementary principal talk about how wonderful ages 6, 7, and 8 are for children and that is goes fast and we should stop to enjoy it. I think that’s it – right there. The cliché – it goes fast – is true. I’ve enjoyed every single age and I frankly love this one too. Having adult children is just flat out fun!

So, it’s really about me – yep – all about me – this is hard for me, because it’s a transition for me, figuring out who/what I am when I’m not their mom or my job has changed, which is a more than full-time job from birth. And now, it’s like taking a fast-moving locomotive and stopping it dead in its tracks. It’s about redefining who I am; new label, new identity, shift in thinking about schedules and thought patterns; there’s actually time in the day now. It’s awkward and uncomfortable and I don’t know how to do it yet. I also know that it won’t be like this again with my boys; each time they’re home it’s changed and my heart bursts with pride and love and those moments of reflection because only I know what it took to get them to this point.

I will allow myself those tears, with no apologies, with only a mother’s heart knowing what I know. God blessed me along the way and helped me grow these adult children; I worked hard at this; and this is all part of how God prepares us for the next part of our journey. So celebrate the yellow school bus coming to get them or dropping them in the pickup line or watching them leave your driveway; celebrate the excitement of their days away; pray for them; and embrace the emotions that come with each transition in life. I heard it called the promised land, rather than empty nest….hmmmm, food for thought!

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